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sherrocked:

My little sister is a really pretty girl and she gets dick pics all the time from annoying boys, so being the girl she is, she started using them as blackmail.
She now has about 30 boys doing her bidding because one stepped out of line and she got someone to print out 500 copies of the photo and mailed it to his family.

My sister is 16 and she’s running a black mail Mafia.
She’s going places.

qozxe:

if i stay in bed i’ll be warm

if i get in the shower i’ll also be warm

but the distance between the bed and the shower

no

that is not warm

ostracizedpoodle:

I’m upset and I want new clothes

plz-save-me-from-the-monsters:

dlubes:

theamazonprince:

internetexplorers:

*accidentally sucks your dick*

you just described gay porn

aw cmon gay porn has more plot than that. its more like

*delivers your pizza*

*accidentally sucks your dick*

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solluxcraptor:

"you’re too cute to be single!"

then date me

bikinipowerbottom:

"She’s really pretty for a black girl"

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“He’s really cool for a gay guy”

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“She’s doing really well for a woman”

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pizza:

i always change my mind about everything except the password i have been using since i was 10

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

vaydra:

i was arguing with my (antigay) dad about gay rights and at the end i was like “i totally crushed u tbh i countered every argument you had” and he was like “but did you change my viewpoint tho” and i was like “i can lead a horse to water but i cant make it stare its reflection in the face and realize its an ass”

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